Part IV
Luke watched Johnathan. He was talking with the new kid, Billy. He couldn't help the sting of jealousy he felt as Johnathan laughed and Billy bumped their shoulders together with a smile. He knew it was unreasonable this jealousy but he couldn't help it. He knew how brilliant JT was. He knew JT would one day go on to do great things. He never wanted the day to come when JT wouldn't need him anymore when all this time he was the one thing JT had that was his'. And this new kid, Billy, he'd seen the way he looked at JT. And he'd seen how JT reacts to it. JT would love anyone who showed him the least bit of affection. It made him vulnerable and the last thing Luke wanted was JT getting hurt because he trusted the wrong person. And maybe if he was honest with himself, he just didn't want JT to be with anyone else. He was the only one who could make JT happy. He wanted to be the one thing JT couldn't be without. And he hated it that JT could smile at Billy like that.
---
He pretended not to see the hurt on JT's face as he pushed past him towards his bed.
"Luke"
He stayed silent. He knew it was childish. He didn't care.
"Luke" he lied face down on the bed, facing away from JT.
"I won't go if you...he just asked if I wanted to come. I don't have to go. Luke...?"
He turned around.
"You can do whatever you want, I'm not your fucking mother!"
JT flinched.
"Shit, JT..." he got off the bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that"
JT nodded, biting his lip.
Luke leaned forward, gripping a hand in JT's hair.
"I am sorry" he whispered before kissing him.
---
"Why won't you believe it?"
"Stop, Billy"
"Why won't you believe that you deserve better?"
"Stop it"
"Johnathan"
"You don't know. You-"
"Yes I do"
"What?"
"I know what happened. I know Luke helped you out and I know you think you owe him but not this, Jay. You don't owe him this"
"He was the only one. The only one that gave a fuck whether I lived or died. I'd be on the streets if it wasn't for him. So yeah, I owe him. Anything and everything. Billy, don't try to pretend you know me. You know nothing"
---
He watched the horizon as the sun set. The wind was getting cooler but he didn't want to go inside, not when his head was such a mess. He'd had an argument with Billy today. About Luke. The thing was that he knew what Billy said made sense. But he didn't want to see it. He didn't want to admit it. Luke has held his heart for so long. His beautiful Luke. He knew things had changed. He probably would never have seen it if it wasn't for Billy. His life had turned upside down ever since Billy had come in to it. He couldn't say he regretted that. He couldn't regret Billy.
He remembered Luke. He remembered that day at the railway station. The kiss. He remembered what it had felt like. He'd loved him then. With all his heart. He'd felt so lucky, like maybe God didn't hate him after all. But this Luke he knew now, he'd realised he didn't know at all. This possessive, careless and mean Luke was not who he knew, wasn't the same boy he kissed that day at the station.
He'd never imagined he'd ever meet someone like Billy, let alone fall in love with him. And Billy loved him back. Billy loved him. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't understand why Billy, who could have anyone he wanted, loved him. But Billy did. And he didn't know what to do, even if in his heart he knew exactly what he wanted.
---
"Stay away from him!"
Billy had known this was coming but still wasn't ready when Luke cornered him in the lockers.
"It's a free country isn't it?" he asked, wishing he wasn't backed up against the wall.
Luke drew closer, blue eyes narrowed.
"He's mine. He's always been mine and he doesn't need you. Do you understand me? He doesn't need you!"
"He's not you fucking property. He can make his own choices" Billy drew away from the wall until he was nose to nose with Luke.
"If you really do care for him, let him go"
Luke's mouth twisted in anger for a moment and Billy thought he'd punch him. But Luke stepped back.
"Don't fight a losing battle, Slater"
To be continued...
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