Hear me through the silence VI

Part VI

They were playing a trial game against one of the neighbouring schools. Things were going well until halfway in to the second half.

Johnathan passes the ball to Cameron who passes it to Billy and Billy zigzags through the opposition players and-

It happens so fast he almost misses it. One of the big props from the other team crashing in to Billy and sending him flying. Johnathan watches Billy fly through the air and crash to the ground. Johnathan is willing him to get up but the trainers are running over and Billy hasn't moved.

He turns around and goes for the opposition prop without hesitation. He has never hated anyone more in his life. Things get a little blurred as punches start connecting and others start joining the brawl and it's Luke, Luke who wraps his strong arms around him and pulls his away.

"What the fuck are you doing? Calm down, JT!"

Johnathan looks at him, breathing heavily as the fighting eases around them.

"Billy…" he looks around for Billy but can't see him anywhere.

He doesn't see Luke's eyes narrow but feels him as he steps closer, a hand clasping around his wrist.

"Stop"

Johnathan spots Billy's dark head surrounded by the trainers at the interchange chairs and tries to pull away from Luke.

"Stop this, Johnathan"

Johnathan looks at him, heart beating normal again and he knows. He knows, if he ever wanted to be anywhere, it is by Billy's side.

"I'm sorry, Luke" He pulls away and Luke lets him go this time.

---

Billy smiles when he sees him, like he just hadn't been knocked out, like Johnathan is Christmas morning. And Johnathan doesn't want him to stop.

"Hey" he crouches down next to Billy.

"Hi, Jay" Billy is still smiling and Johnathan wonders if it might be the knock to the head.

"Are you…?" He realises the futility of the question and gives up half way.

Billy leans closer.

"Headache but it'll clear" Billy is looking at him with wide eyes and he can't help it when he feels a little breathless.

"Billy, I…"

Billy reaches out and touches his wrist with gentle fingers.

"JT, why aren't you on the ground?" The coach is shouting and Johnathan looks up and realises the game had restarted and their team had been playing without a halfback all that time.

Luke is waiting for him. But he knows what he wants.

He grips Billy's hand for a moment, holding his eyes.

"I'll see you after the game"

---

Luke watches Johnathan. Sees him smiling at Billy and can't help his heart clenching when Billy touches JT's wrist and JT leans close enough to kiss. He'd given himself one more chance but it is so obvious, so blindingly clear what JT wants and he couldn't have gotten in the way of that even if he tried. And he had tried. So desperately but he couldn't change anything. He knows most of this is his fault but JT had gone and fallen in love with someone else and what could he do about that?

---

"I know you care about him" Billy starts.

"You act like a complete dick to him half of the time but I know you care for him. And I know you never meant to hurt him, not when you were the one person who'd ever given a fuck about him all this time"

Luke is staring at him, frowning like he doesn't quite know where Billy is going with this.

"But however well meaning you were at the start, you have to admit you've hurt him more than anyone"

Billy stands infront of Luke, feeling almost like he is about to ask Luke for Johnathan's hand in marriage.

"I love him. He loves me. I need you to let him go"

Luke laughs.

"Well if you both love each other so much why the fuck do you need my permission?"

"Because he thinks you love him"

Luke raises an eyebrow.

"Don't I?"

"Do you?"

"You know why I didn't like you from the start? Because of the way he looked at you. He never looked at me like that. So it's not a question of whether I love him or not, is it? He doesn't love me. And that answers all the questions. Despite what you might think I do want him to be happy. And I know I'm not going to be the person to give him that. So just…" When Luke looks up, Billy swears there are tears in his eyes before he blinks them away.

"Don't make the same mistakes that I made"

---

"You're going home with him?" Billy asks.

"I have nowhere else to go" Johnathan stops packing and turns to look at him.

"You can stay. Stay here with me!" Billy moves forward and halts infront of Johnathan.

"Billy…" Johnathan whispers softly.

Billy leans forward and catches Johnathan's lips with his own, light and lightning fast.

"Stay"

When he leans back, Johnathan's eyes are closed.

"I…"

Billy kisses his again, longer this time.

"Stay with me"

Johnathan takes a step back, breathing fast.

"I'll lose the only home I have"

Billy shakes his head.

"No"

He takes a step forward.

"You'll be free"

Billy holds out a hand, palm up.

Johnathan stares at his hand mesmerised.

"Jay…"

"How do I...how can I…?" Johnathan looks at him, completely lost.

"You need to make your choice, Jay. I love you but this can't go on like it has, you know that"

When Johnathan reaches for him, he does so slowly. Like something is desperately trying to pull him back. But when their hands finally touch and his fingers curl around Johnathan's he finally knows what it is like to be a half of a whole. But he's not lessened. He is so much more than before and he kisses Johnathan like it's the first time. And it is the first time, really. All he wants is right here. It's just Johnathan and he's whole. Finally.

The End.

Fear not, this is not the end. The Epilogue shall follow sometime later...probably tomorrow :D