No more chilli for you baby

This is inspired by the NRL footy show last week and is dedicated to Yellowleaf. Cheer up, man! Atleast you're not choking on a chilli with people just sitting there and laughing :D


Daniel was going red. Nathan's laughter died as he realised Morts was really struggling to breathe.

"Fuck!" he swore as he thumped the kid on the back.

Daniel was coughing and sweating and an alarming shade of red.

"Morts! Morts, come on!"

Daniel gripped his hand, trying to calm his breathing. It wasn't working.

"Someone get him some fucking water!" he yelled and watched as Morts gulping it down when it arrived.

Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He rested his head on Nathan's shoulder with a whimper.

"Nathan"

Nathan wrapped an arm around him and held him closer, completely forgetting about anyone else.

"I've got you. Just breathe, Morts"

For all the Money in the World

The adventures of L.H.F.C continues :D

L.H.F.C was invited(totally snuck in. No regrets) to a secret charity auction held by the playing group of the STKFC. Our secret source told us this was going to be a very interesting and potentially scandalous event and L.H.F.C was so concerned for our beloved Lenny that we simply had to come. And we did, with thanks to a very oblivious (and right now very unconscious and tied up in the bathroom) Jarryn Geary. We shall forever be grateful for his contribution to this great cause.

We are lurking around at the back of the room trying to find our way closer to our center of gravity, Lenny, when Joey goes up on stage. The smile on his face, in our opinion, is one of bubbling, undeniable insanity. Keeping the manic grin on his face, he reaches in to a box and starts picking out names.

"Nick Dal Santo" Cheers from everyone and Dal smiles and goes up on stage. Joey then proceeds to draw out another name.

"Justin Koschitzke" L.H.F.C (and rest of the room) hears a loud groan as Kosi is shoved on to the stage by BJ. If anyone was watching Rooey (and L.H.F.C was), they would have seen a huge grin on his face.

L.H.F.C is starting to get suspicious. Exactly what type of an auction is this?

"Sam Gilbert" Sam is grinning and waving as he got up on stage. L.H.F.C gets the distinct feeling that Sam loves being the center of attention.

L.H.F.C is keeping an eye on our Lenny, whose eyes are on stage but he is smiling as BJ whispers things in his ear. Our jealousy knows no bounds but we are slightly (mortally) fearful of BJ's chairs of doom that whack people. L.H.F.C resorts to just sending mental daggers in BJ's direction for the time being.

"Clint Jones" The fourth name is called out by Joey. Clint is blushing as he reluctantly gets on stage. It is cute and very becoming. L.H.F.C still has no idea what is going on!
Joey reaches in to the box and draws out another name. He glances at the piece of paper and his manic grin goes up another notch.

"Lenny Hayes"

Since L.H.F.C is always watching Lenny with atleast one eye, we see him startle at his name. BJ is glaring at Joey. Lenny smiles at him and goes to join the others on stage.

Joey announces that he will give everyone five minutes to sort out their business and the players immediately huddle in to smaller groups . L.H.F.C notices Rooey and BJ standing together. David Armitage is looking nervous and standing with Farren Ray. Zack Dawson and Adam Schneider are talking while Zack shoots covert glances at the stage. Jason Blake and Michael Gardiner are towering over everyone and looking satisfied with something. Mini and Jason Gram are looking relaxed while most suspiciously, Joey is crouching down at the edge of the stage, whispering urgently with Milns, Fish and Bakes. L.H.F.C finds all this mightily interesting but what does this have to do with the auction? Then Joey gets up and walks back towards the center of the stage.

"Alright boys, let’s get started. Remember it's a thousand dollars per person but you are allowed to team up. Owner’s powers last exactly 24 hours . And boys," Joey grins "Keep things consensual"
L.H.F.C notices Clint Jones reddening and understanding dawns. By all the stars in heaven! Scandalous indeed.

"The first one on the block is Kosi" Joey yells out. The crowd cheer. Justin is glowering and says something to Joey under his breath.

"Justin is so excited to do his bit for charity, everyone. So let the bidding start" Joey yells out.

"$200" The first offer comes in a distinctly non-Rooey voice. It's Jason Blake, who shrugs at everyone as Michael Gardiner next to him grins.

"$500" Rooey enters the bidding.

"$700" Says Gardiner.

Kosi is glaring at him.

"$1000" Rooey ups the price.

Blake and Gardiner are conferring. Rooey looks nervous. Kosi looks angry.

"$1500" says Blake.

Rooey's eyes widen.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Kosi yells from the stage. Blake and Gardiner just grin and wave their money.

"Now, now Justin" Joey pets Kosi on the shoulder. Kosi turns his glare on him.

"$2000" Rooey calls. L.H.F.C notices Big Mac (aka Ben McEvoy) standing next to Rooey, looking stoic and magnanimous. Kosi looks relieved. Rooey looks relieved. Blake and Gardiner looks disappointed. Joey hasn't lost the manic gleam in his eyes as he announces,

"If there are no more bids, Justin Koschitzke is sold to Nick Riewoldt. Enjoy boys" he says with a wink. L.H.F.C realises that Joey is a diabolical master.

"Next up is Sammy Gilbert"

Sam saunters up to Joey who grins.

"Bidding is open"

"$1000" Everyone blinks. Zack Dawson coughs nervously, eyes never leaving Sam. Sam smiles. Everyone is swept away by this tale of young love. L.H.F.C blinks a tear from an eye (one that is not keeping a tab on Lenny).

"Anyone want to top that bid?" Joey asks the audience.

"Anyone?" he looks disappointed. L.H.F.C is proud of its people.

Sam Gilbert is sold to Zack Dawson. They look happy. Joey is shaking his head.

"Now we have Lenny Hayes" Joey sings out. Lenny is taking in the room with huge green eyes and L.H.F.C can hear the collective sigh of the room.

"$500" BJ calls. Lenny smiles at him.

"$700" calls out Milns. BJ is horrified. L.H.F.C is horrified. Joey grins at Milns and gives him the thumbs up.

"$800" BJ grinds out.

"$900" Fish says. BJ glares.

"$1000" BJ says looking desperately at Lenny.

"$1200" calls Schneider-man.

"What the fuck?" BJ yells as Mini and Gram make their way towards him.

Milns grins. "Charity auction, BJ" BJ grinds his teeth. Mini nods at him.

"$1500" BJ offers.

"$1600" Joey says.

"What? You can't join in!" BJ yells in horror. Joey smiles his insane smile.

"I can too!"

BJ glares at him. L.H.F.C can feel the murderous anger. L.H.F.C would support BJ in anything he would choose to do at this moment. Our beloved Lenny must not end up in Joey's manic hands.

"$2000" BJ yells.

Milns looks at Joey and Joey shakes his head.

"Lenny Hayes belongs to Brendon Goddard for the next 24 hours"

BJ wraps an arm around Lenny when he reaches him, still glaring at Joey. Joey waves at him cheerily before continuing.

"Next up is Clinton Jones" Clint is smiling nervously and blushing and all in all looking lovely and if L.H.F.C wasn't L.H.F.C it would so fall for him right now.

"$500" Comes an offer. David Armitage.

"$1000" Milns calls out. David looks panicked. Joey is grinning. Clint is blushing some more.

"$1500" David offers with Farren Ray by his side. Clint looks over and offers David a shy smile. L.H.F.C can see David melting on the spot.

"$3000" Milns calls happily. David is heartbroken. Joey looks delighted. Clint looks disappointed. And slightly nervous. L.H.F.C can sympathise.

Last but never least is Dal. Anyone with any money left pitches in for Dal, who for his credit looks nervous for just a second before settling down in to a lovely smile. L.H.F.C wishes him well for the next 24 hours.

The auction is over. The boys are leaving. Nick and Justin walk away towards the lockers, L.H.F.C cannot be the only one to notice the mischievous grin on Nick's face. Zack and Sam go towards the car park and a lot of people noticed their linked hands. Joey is tying a red ribbon in Dal's hair while Milns and Fish guide Clint away from a sad-eyed David Armitage. As L.H.F.C is trying a make a discreet getaway, it sees Lenny standing outside with BJ. Lenny smiles and waves. L.H.F.C is a puddle of goo at his feet. BJ sighs but doesn't follow up with any violent demonstrations of love. Goodbye, Lenny love. Until our next meeting. Muah hahah *Cough*