Chapter 2
Quade leaves school at the end of year 10. He is 16 and is sick of watching his brother go hungry because their mother spends most of her pay on alcohol. He gets a job at Beale's Mechanics, run by his friend Kurtly's dad. He's been working there on and off anyway and he's discovered that he's brilliant with cars. He decides that school is no great loss, even if James disagrees. He's never envisioned himself going to university or doing anything so academic. So it's okay. It's steady money and he can keep the fridge stocked, which is what matters to him right now.
James argues with him of course. They don't need the money that badly, he says. But Quade has seen James pretend not to be hungry when he finds the fridge empty even when Quade can hear his stomach growling. And the sinking feeling in his heart is something he never wants to know again.
So Quade presses James against their bedroom door and kisses him. Quade would do anything for his brother. He knows he's made the right decision.
---
Quade comes home one day and finds James lying naked on his bed. Their mother won't be home for a few hours yet but Quade closes the door behind him anyway. James's eyes are closed but Quade knows he's not a sleep because the corners of James's lips are desperately trying to curve up in to a smile.
"James…" he breathes, heart thudding in his chest.
James finally gives up pretending to sleep and turns his head, blue eyes catching his'.
"Quade" James reaches out a hand across the bed.
"What are you-"
"Come here"
Quade is 17 and James is 15 today. They haven't been here before.
Quade moves. He can't help it. He pauses at the edge of the bed. James is looking up at him.
"It's my birthday today," James says, fingers reaching up to thread through his', "this is what I want"
Quade swallows. If they do this, it'd be the final line. There would be no coming back.
He strips off his clothes and gets on the bed.
James laughs in to the kiss when he kisses him.
They have never much cared for the boundaries anyway.
---
They take up rugby at school. Living up in Queensland, there aren't too many other options. But that doesn't stop them from being brilliant at it. Both of them make the school team and Quade breaks the coach's heart when he decides to leave school. They had been aiming for the regional championships next year.
Quade misses it incredibly afterwards. Misses playing with his brother, with his friends. Misses doing the only thing he'd ever been good at. And if he thinks about it too much, he'd almost regret it.
Almost.
And it's not like he never gets to play. They play in the local park with Kurtly and a few other boys from the neighbourhood. He hasn't given it up. He's just put it away for awhile.
---
When Quade is 19 and James is 17, they move out. Their mother doesn't say anything. She just stands in the living room, watching them as Quade and James take the boxes filled with their belongings out to the car they borrowed from Kurtly.
James hugs her goodbye. Quade doesn't.
Their new place is a one room flat on the fourth floor of a five story building that has seen better days. There is no lift, so they have to carry everything up the stairs, this one time grateful to not have too many belongings.
It's closer to the school so James can walk instead of taking the bus and Quade doesn't mind having to walk longer to work.
It has electricity and hot water and a ratty couch left behind by the previous tenant and a mattress Quade picked up at a garage sale that is serving as their bed and it's not perfect. It's not. But it's theirs. And it's all they need right now.
---
When they tell Kurtly, it's because they want to. Quade is 20 and has been working at Beale's Mechanics for 4 years. That he has customers asking for him by name is something he'll never get over. James is 18 and just finished school. He is currently trying to decide whether university will be worth the time and the effort and the money it is going to cost.
They tell Kurtly because he is their friend and he's been the best friend either of them has ever had.
Kurtly's reaction to the news is not exactly what they expected.
"Why the fuck are you laughing?" Quade asks annoyed, unsure whether to be relieved or not.
Kurtly continues to laugh and James looks as confused as Quade feels.
"Oh man! Oh god! Did you really think...oh fuck!" Kurtly loses the moment of coherence and starts laughing again.
Quade sits down on the arm of the couch next to James and waits him out.
Finally Kurtly's laughter subsides and he looks at them with fond eyes.
"I know this is a big thing for you to tell me like this. I'm so glad you trust me enough for that. Thank you. But did you really think I didn't know?'
"What?" James asks incredulously.
"It's sort of obvious. I mean the way you guys look at each other and I mean Quade, do you even know what you're doing right now?"
Quade frowns at him for a moment before realising that his left hand is on James's neck, fingers gently stroking the soft skin. He freezes. James looks up at him with a small smile before looking back at Kurtly.
"We're that obvious?"
Kurtly shrugs.
"That and the time I walked in on you in the shower"
"What?" they both yell at the same time.
Kurtly scratches the back of his neck with a grin.
"Yeah...um...I don't think you realised I'd come in. I mean… I didn't… you were sort of busy...um...anyway that's how I know"
"When did you...how long have you-?" Quade finds himself unable to finish the question.
"About a year or so"
Quade can feel his face burning. He isn't sure exactly when but if they'd both been in the shower at the same time, he doesn't have to think too hard about what Kurtly would have seen.
"So the point is," Kurtly continues before the awkward silence could get any longer, "I didn't freak out then so I sure as hell am not going to freak out now. I can't really see either of you with anyone else anyway"
"You're really okay with this?" James asks doubtfully.
"What did I just say, dude? Stop freaking out. I don't care about how you're in love with your brother"
"Kurtly…" Quade doesn't know what to say. When he ran the scenarios in his head last night, none of them had played out like this.
"Listen just...you know, be careful out there, alright? Not many people are so open minded, even without the brothers part"
James nods.
"Thank you" Quade says and he's never been more sincere.
To be continued.
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