The Bachelor featuring Billy and the Kangaroos.

So was watching completely trashy tv the other day and was inspired :D

Host: Welcome all to the latest season of the Bachelor. This year we're with the Kangaroos and we've picked out one hot bachelor that everyone is going to be dying to woo. Yes, I did say woo. Because fellas, this beauty is all about the romance. So if you want in his pants you will have to do the whole roses, chocolate and the bedtime stories ritual. So without further ado, let's meet the boy with the smile, BILLY SLATER!

[Billy tentatively walks in to the room. Gives a nervous but bright smile to the camera]

Host: So Billy, tell us, how do you feel about having to choose your true love from amongst your peers? I mean, you know these guys very well. Will that affect your decision process?

Billy: Umm...I really am not sure how I got picked for this [looks around helplessly]

Host: I think someone might have 'volunteered' you. So back to the question, Billy, how do you feel about one of your teammates being your true love?

Billy: Well I ...it's certainly possible. I mean look at the team you know, it's quite an impressive line up.

Host: Do you have any favourites already or is that going to come with time?

Billy: Well...I suppose if I am going to be serious about this I probably shouldn't have any favourites yet. Yeah, I think I'll judge them all on their merit and see what happens.

Host: Thank you Billy. We'll catch up with you later in the show to see how you found the introductions.

---

Host: [whispering from behind the bushes] Here comes the contestants in their limo. Let's see how the boys go.

[Billy is shifting from foot to foot and tugging at his bowtie. He freezes as the limo arrives]

Ben Creagh: Hey Billy. [Looks around to the camera] Do I really have to introduce myself?

Billy: I already know who he is!

Host: [yells from behind bushes] Yes you do! Stick to the script!

Ben C: Hey Billy. I'm Ben C.

Billy: Hi Ben C. Where are you from?

Ben C: I'm from St George Illawarra. I play rugby for the Dragons, not sure if you would have heard about them.

Billy: [Stifling a laugh] Yeah I've heard of them. That's really awesome! You any good at it?

Ben C: [grins] A bit yeah.

Host: [Hisses] Time!

Billy: Alright Ben C. I'll see you inside.

[Ben C leaves]

Billy: [to the camera] I hadn't realised what a nice smile he has. Wow...

[The next contestant steps out]

Justin: [Is looking dashing in his suit. He's holding a bouquet of roses. Red roses] Hi.

Billy: [In a squeeing voice] Oh my god! You brought me flowers!

Justin: Oh yeah. [Hands them over] Hope you like them.

Billy: [Hugs them to his chest] I love them!

Justin: [Beams}

Billy: [Swoons a little]

Host: Time!

Billy: Thank you for the flowers!

Justin: They don't compare to you!

Billy: [swoons]

Host: Time goddamn it!

Justin: See you soon, Billy.

Billy: Yeah….

[Justin leaves]

Billy: Oh. My. God. Justin Hodges! Fucking hell!

[Another contestant steps out]

Billy: Cameron! You're in on this too?

Cameron: [coughs] yeah...in on this exactly what I am! How're you doing Bills?

Billy: fine. Great actually. This is fun. Justin got me a bunch of roses!

Cameron: [looks thoughtful] Justin, eh? Who would have thought?

Billy: Who would have thought what?

Cameron: Nothing, my lovely Bills, nothing. Why don't I go inside now and keep the lads company while you meet the rest of the boys.

Billy: Right-o. See you later, Cam.

[Time for the next contestant]

Billy: Man, are you wearing a hoodie?

Jarryd: If you truly love me, nothing else should matter.

Billy: Umm…

Jarryd: [Steps forward and touches foreheads with Billy]

Billy: Umm…

Jarryd: This is the traditional greeting of-

Cooper: This guy bothering you Billy?

Host: What are you doing? It's not your turn yet!

Cooper: [Glares at host] I'm not gonna sit in some limo and watch while my man gets forced in to unnecessary body contact!

Billy: Coop, he was only-

Cooper: You're going to take his side? I've been your friend forever and you take his side?

Billy: No, Coop-

Cooper: Whatever. I'm going inside. Clearly I'm not wanted here!

[Billy watches Cooper walk away with big sad eyes]

Jarryd: Bit dramatic, that one, isn't he?

Billy: Just a bit, yeah.

Jarryd: We good?

Billy: [smiles] yeah.

Jarryd: [smiles back] I'll see you inside.

[The next contestant steps out. The limo gives a little]

Billy: Greg! [Runs over ad hugs him]

Greg: Hey, babe.

Billy: Missed you, you know!

Greg: Sorry, Bills. How are you?

Billy: Good. But I think Coop is mad at me.

Host: Hey! This is not Dr Phil! Work out your problems on some other show!

Greg: [Looks in the host's direction]

Host: I mean...um...please stick to the script?

Greg: [Looks back at Billy] I'll talk to him.

Billy: Thanks.

Greg: See you inside Bills.

Billy: Bye Greg!

Billy: [watching Greg leave] This is actually quite fun!

[Last but not least, Johnathan Thurston steps out of the limo. He's wearing a white silk shirt, dark jeans. He has a single white rose in his hand]

Billy: Hi.

JT: Hi.

Billy: I didn't think you'd sign up for this.

JT: [smiles] Yeah… but I wanted to.

Billy: [smiles] Good

JT: [shuffling his feet] I know Justin got you a whole bunch of roses but I... [takes a deep breath] Here!

Billy: [Takes the rose] It's beautiful.

JT: Yeah?

Billy: Yeah. Thank you.

Host: [taking in the contestants staring in to eachother's eyes mesmerised] Oh dear god! Time!

Billy: [blinks]

JT: [blinks]

Billy: See you inside?

JT: You better!

Billy: [stares after Johnathan] Oh.

---

Host: So Billy, tell us. How did you find the introductions?

Billy: I know I wasn't very enthusiastic about this whole thing at the start but meeting the guys like that...I've never seen that side of them before. I have to say, I'm very excited about this now.

Host: That's wonderful. So do you have a favourite yet?

Billy: Well Justin with his roses stands out but … I think I'll wait until I actually get to talk to them and get to know them a little better.

Host: Very wise choice. So there you go. Billy is now going to get some one on one time with the boys to see where his heart will take him. Who will he choose at the first rose ceremony? Which unlucky contestants will get the hearts broken? And who's not in this for Billy? Keep on watching to find out!

Shall be continued in the Rose ceremony!